(no subject)

Damn its been a min on this shit ! I'm happy to get out this once again lol.
Well wow wtf can i say ?
I aint single na more lol ummmmmm

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

(no subject)
nothing has changed, well nothing much
im still hopeless & lonely.
no more nat & any one for that matter
me & neni rarely speak & im fine with that
melo, we dont speak
if i dont think on it so much it doesnt hurt
but im fine
it just sucks to be in my emotions
being lonely & shit
no one to actually talk to..

(no subject)
its just hard not having someone there for you. no offense to nat.. but its not the same. & it will never be.. just riding solo dolo. but ive wiped my tears. i am looking forward to the weekend. i will not cry no more tonight & hopefully for a long time. i wanna enjoy my weekend.

(no subject)
once again, late night crying... i havent cried in a long time, its a wierd feeling to cry.
like its sad that im crying but i feel good that my tears can express my pain with out the need of words. either way.. i have one person that understands me but its hard to believe anything anymore or anyone, nathaly... she's always been there since ive met her but she hasnt made the impact on me as the people ive recently lost. i say recent cuh they are still fresh in my heart & mind. i think of one or the other ever so often.. maybe daily.. i cant open to anyone as i did before not even nat or anyone i ever come to meet.. but thats my fault. to this day, i deface my pride & take the blame. im just bummed im still hung up on this. i should be over this.. like life goes on right ? its just hard to let someone go, you thought & felt meant alot to you.. i dont mind the change in comfort.. shit happens.. it just suckss. its taught me alot. ive learned how to cope & deal. but pretending it doesnt hurt ? i can wear a smile but i still cry. tears done lie.

(no subject)
i failed you with my attitude, you failed me with your actions

to the ones who want to listen...
life is alright, i cant complain much
i have an amazing best friend
her name is melodie marie jelly gras <3
she has made me a better person
no homo shit but she holds a place in my heart
i love that we've gotten so close :3
thats my R.O.D lolol
stuff at home is fine
i dont get much lip at home no more
im 20 now
ive been writing in this journal for bout 4 years or more.
i have my own car :3
i love my tumblr
my phone is my life lol
bmm & twitter is my drug
can you tell im forever alone?
i was in a relationship recently..
obviously with her..
jeannette perez
the love of my life
but what else is new?
i fucked up
but idk ?
i did choose my friends over her
well i dont wanna talk bout that much.
no lie i had fun that night
unforgettable ... from what i remember lol
my life has changed in these past few months.
starting like august...
i started college, its not so bad besides im failing math...
which i plan to dropping it..
but all my classes are cool i guess..
i started the gym recently as well.
i did the HCG shot diet
it kinda worked..
ummm i changed up my style as well...
not so much as that lil ghetto kid no more lol
im more girly in a way ??? if thats possible? knowing mee lol
but in reality i wanna lose more wieght so i can officially switch up my style so i can
buy new clothes that actually fit me lol
lol now that im 20
i had a very fun bday last weekend lol
i had a few friends go over dee's
like ivan, marlon, hector, johnathan, jennifer, tiffany, bianca, and obvi my biff <3 my nigga jelly lol
oh yeahh nd dani & laura came over later on...
we went in the pool..me nd melo had fun ;) lmfao no homo
ivan nd i had a battle in the backyard nd in the act, for loosing so much wieght
one of my girls decided to join the party nd everyone saw lmfao
nigga fuck it !
its my bday !! - my exact words lmao
lol it was a fun night
and well for the cake.. ivan nd dani attempted to dip my head in the cake
lmfao what can i say i hadve a strong neck nd it didnt happen til
diana grabbed the spatula nd slammed cake frosting all over my face
all hell broke lose
but what i did to dee was way more intense for her bday lmao
well thats about it.. idk what else to tell you guise :3 till next time !

(no subject)
why is love so hard to find ?
i want a real love
something that hurts so i can know its real
not blinding love .
that love that yu cry for days , your stomach turns
the barerable shit we go thur
the need to talk to you , the loved one.
all the damn time
i want to hold your hand
smell your hair as you hug me
see that glissen in your eyes as you look back at me
laugh at all my horrible jokes
poke me when i bother you
open your eyes really big when i said something inapporiate lol
show your beautiful smile
make my day as i should make yours
i just to be loved nd wanted again
i hate being lonely nd unwanted
im a happy nd funny person but i rarely get to that level with someone so quickly
but i want you to change that
be what changes me
make my life different
i beg you
i need you in my life
nd stay in it
love i need you .
who will you be tho ?
i am looking for my "you"...

(no subject)
i hope i have a good weekend

(no subject)
once again
i did it
i fuckd upp
shit suckss
i miss her like hell nd all i get is an okayy
it hurts
i deserve it
i gotta be strong if i want her back
take it day by day right ?
i dont want anything but her

(no subject)
so much has happened in life since the last time i was here
am sooo much more happier now
i have her back in my life with me
life is good


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